Saturday 11 July 2009

Separation Anxiety - Help Your Children To Deal With Anxiety

By Jason H. Lee

If you are a parent of a small child, then you likely are all too aware of separation anxiety. For those who are unfamiliar with the term, separation anxiety is a common problem seen in young children starting between the ages of eight to twelve months old.

A child with separation anxiety can be attached to one single person or may appear to be without any reason and totally random, with a change every week as to which person they do not want to be detached from.

Separation anxiety can affect the parents in the same way it does the child. Wrestling with the temper tantrums or hysterics can be exhausting and frustrating if you are the object of attachment for a child who throws a fit every time you leave the room or leave them with a babysitter.

Some children will often need more than just the presence of the chosen caregiver in the room to settle down. They will need physical contact such as being constantly held or in the care giver's lap. Whilst physical contact is essential for the emotional development of a child, a child with separation anxiety will crave this contact too much. It will get to the stage where it is impossible to get anything done around the house which can lead to other problems. Furthermore, separation anxiety will make leaving the child with someone else before going to work or simply to run some errands a daily struggle.

It may be consoling to parents who are worried about separation anxiety in their children to understand that it is not a result of parenting that is too protective or too lax, or excessively tough or easy. It is a simply a normal part of growing up that all children have to go through. Indeed, some children feel separation anxiety far more than others and it may not even be an issue with some kids.

Try to set aside a specific time each day to work on the issue of separation anxiety. Perhaps after dinner each night you can tell your child that you are going out but will return shortly. Enter the house again in another five minutes or so, pretending that your child is not experiencing the same separation anxiety issues that may have been sparked by your initial departure. Be seated and busy yourself with reading, watching television or whatever activity you're used to and allow your child to approach you. When that happens, behave normally as if nothing transpired earlier and continue your normal routine. If you practice this consistently, your child will come to realize that you will always return eventually, and his separation anxiety should subside.

Following the same routine over and over may help the child who is experiencing separation anxiety. As an example if your child is having a temper tantrum every time you must leave for work, try using the same approach every day and eventually your child will become used to the idea.

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